Talking to Your Children About Scary World Events
Talking to Your Kids About Scary World Events
By: Martin Smith, LMFT
Frightening and overwhelming news stories have become so commonplace that it is hard to keep up with all that is going on in the world. A vast majority of the tragic events we hear about do not have a direct impact on us. However, that does not mean they are not enormously impactful. Processing this kind of information and making sense out of it can be challenging. For our children, this challenge can be even greater. As parents, it is important that we feel confident in knowing how to talk with our kids about scary world events, so that they can receive the support they need to feel less confused and scared. Here are some tips on how to have these conversations:
· Start by better understanding what your child knows, and what is concerning them. What are they aware of? What questions do they have? What are their concerns? Follow their lead and do not assume you know what they are thinking. Their worries and concerns may be very different than yours. Be curious!
· Be aware of your child’s developmental level. Younger kids need information that is simple and concrete. Older kids and teenagers may have more complex thoughts and questions.
· Approach these conversations from a calm and grounded place. This frame of mind will communicate a sense of safety, and that things are ok.
· Help your child to create a narrative about what is happening that makes sense. But remember, the issues we discuss will likely not have simple answers or solutions. Its ok to talk with our kids about things that do not have clear solutions. Having the capacity to talk about complex things helps build resilience in our kids, and communicates that this is a normal part of life.
· When simple explanations are hard to find, simply validate what your kids are saying. Remind them that feelings are normal and ok. Praise them for telling you how they feel. Remind them that even though their feelings are upsetting, they are not alone and you are there with them.
· Help your kids put language to their feelings. Its important that we develop a strong emotional vocabulary as we grow. This is a developmental process. Having words for our feelings helps to normalize what we are going through. Every pain and worry needs a name.
· Put limits on media of all kinds. Social media in particular can be very inappropriate for young kids, and misleading for teenagers.
· Point out ways in which your child is safe.
· Point out who your child’s supportive people are.
· Keep a normal routine. Routine is comforting and makes life as predictable as possible.
· Remember to create time for lightness and fun.
